- May 01, 2019
A Stress Free Day - Learning to Use CBD
My alarm goes off, like it tends to, at 09:00 every morning. I hit the snooze and paddle around my lucid mind for ten more minutes. When that beep pesters me again, I stretch my arms out wide, open my eyes, and begrudgingly roll out of bed.
The walk to the bathroom is a long one, despite being only a few steps away. I’m an anxious person by nature; my life consists of ritualistic checking of bodily sensations in the hope that I am preventing a major medical crisis. It’s exhausting, to say the least, but it is my life. I move forward. And right now that movement is bringing me to the toilet. After that is taken care of, I brush my teeth, head downstairs, and eat cereal. I can tell I’m getting anxious because I am focusing way too much on what I need to do today. My mind is starting to wake up—an exhausting thought—and is beginning to stress.
A year ago, I would have reached into my cabinet for a Xanax. Not a whole bar, but never less than 0.5mg. That would hold off the panic for a few hours, allowing me to feel like a functioning human being that is not about to be chased by sabretooth tigers or fend off hungry wolves. My survival instincts and adrenal glands are shot, but they love to fire at the weirdest times. The Xanax kept that at bay until I realized I was depending on it to live a normal life. That was not good.
I searched around for alternatives, preferably of the natural sort. The usual recommendations were found: meditation, cutting out caffeine, exercise (impossible), and various plants, herbs, and supplements. None of those alone ever worked, though I admit that meditation with exercise helped. Things got bad enough, though, and Xanax was my crutch.
Then a friend suggested I try CBD (this sounds like a commercial, doesn’t it?).
I knew what CBD was, as I used to smoke a heroic amount of cannabis. I had to cut it out due to my worsening mood, but I was familiar nonetheless. CBD sounded interesting; I heard that it was good at relieving pain, but I had no idea it would help with elevating my mood. Being the hesitant person that I am, I researched, talked to friends, and even spoke to my doctor, who did not disagree that CBD could be useful but told me to be careful because of my past with THC and how anxious it made me. There could have been a relationship, he said, but he encouraged me to make my own choice.
One year later and CBD has been a blessing of sorts. It has not permanently fixed my mood, as that is not something to fix but to manage, but it has got me away from prescription medication. I don’t use CBD constantly. But today, for example, I will gently puff away on my vape with a low dose of CBD e-liquid. It’s just enough to bring off the edge of my swirling mind, but it is never enough to sedate me, make me sleepy, or impair my cognitive abilities in the least. I’ve been cautious about relying on CBD too much, and so far it has been a breeze. Never do I feel reliant or as if I couldn’t walk away. That’s not to say that I dislike it. I love it. But it is a tool, nothing more. CBD is normal as tea.
But it feels good. I especially love that first step outside after my morning routine. The spring breeze kisses my face like an old friend, a friend that I didn’t know I needed. The birds sing, and yet again I find myself whistling along with them. I make sure to keep my shoes off so that I can feel closer to the earth as I walk through my backyard. I take a seat and meditate for a few minutes. And then I start my working day, writing as I do, from home. It’s all just part of the ride, and that’s fine with me. Today is just another day, a day that I can get through.
I’ll hit my vape a few more times throughout the day, as needed. I find that I need it less and less, but it is always there in case I do. That’s the beauty of it: it is there if and when I need it. It’s not prescribed to take ‘x’ amount of times a day. I am the one in control of my life and my treatment. Of course, your mileage may—and will—vary, but that is not to say CBD shouldn’t be tried. Do your research. Be vigilant in seeking help. Help is always there to be found if you put in the effort to ask.